Hi, my name’s Robert, and I’m a critic. Well, not really, but I’m sort of moonlighting as one. And now I’ve asked Jennifer to be one, too! How horrible of me! When I think of a critic, I think about a balding guy sitting in front of a movie screen going on and on about how he hated some movie. I’ve never really liked critics much. But there are more than just movie critics. There are critics for books, art, music, food, and probably any other creative thing you can think of to do! I ended up being kind of a critic because I wrote a few books. Ok…I wrote three books. I “self published” the books. That just means I didn’t go through a big publisher, I just kind of put them out myself. And now, I need to find a way to get my books noticed.
I came across a site called goodreads.com and registered there as an author for my first book. It was about working casino security (Adventures in Casino Security), and is sort of what you might call a “black comedy.” I ended up writing a romance novel next, and then a military book. I ended up finding other self published people like myself online and we started getting together, agreeing to read each other’s books, and then review them! How fun! I not only get my books read, but I also get to read other people’s books, and criticize them! We all got together to help each other out though, not tear up each other’s books. Here comes the problem now. My fellow authors have emailed about it behind the scenes, but never out in the open: It’s like a big, dark, ugly, secret! And what is it, you may ask?
What if I don’t like the other author’s book? We all got together to help each other and so far, I’ve like most of the other books I’ve read! But what happens when I come across that one author who’s writing is just AWFUL? I don’t want to slam someone who was nice enough to swap books to review! But then, I’m not really giving an honest review if I say I like their book, am I? Oh, the horror, the horror! Here’s a funny point: I don’t think Jennifer has written a book. Well, not one that I know about anyway. So she’s agreed to read my book (I need to remind myself to mail it!) and review it for me. But what if she doesn’t like it? It’s full of profanity! There are nasty people in the book! The characters fight and scream!
She wanted the military book. So if she doesn’t like that one, maybe I’ll try pushing the romance on her? Ok, maybe she won’t like that one either? Geez Jennifer, you are one hard woman to please! How about the casino book? It’s horribly formatted, and contains the words “he said” and “she said” way too many times! Oh my goodness, now I need to go and puke in the toilet! (Ok, give me a second to calm down here)
On the other hand, the military book I’m sending her (Frigate: November) has gotten pretty good reviews from the people who have read it so far.
My name’s Robert, and I’m a WRITER! But also a semi-nice critic! Drop me a note on goodreads.com, or find me on facebook.
Feel free to check out my three books, and their reviews:
Adventures in Casino Security
A Writer’s Love Story
Thank you Robert so much for your post. I'm glad I'm not the only one that worries about writing reviews for books that I don't like (thankfully I've not come across too many that I don't like). And I swear I'm really not that hard to please, just give me a good story and my jammies!!! I also liked the visuals of a movie critic... Now I may not be able to sleep with that vision haunting me :-)
As Robert stated he is sending me a copy of Frigate:November to review so once I have that in my hands I'll be sure to post the review as soon as possible.
So thanks for reading and go check out Robert's books. Let us both know what you think!